Snowy Day

 It snowed today canceling some plans I had to take a blacksmithing class.  But the bonus is, one, that means tomorrow I will be able to watch the AFC Championship game, and two, I was able to take some pics.

My lovely wife!

Seagull captured in motion

Me and my camera

So for Christmas I got one of them fancy DSLR cameras.  And since I rarely blog about anything I figured I'd try and start a photo blog.  So here goes.

I took a walk around the lake behind the house and took some pics.  Some I've posted on facebook so if there are repeats, my apologies.  Of course for the two people who actually read this....

This next pic is a macro shot of a flower that Callie has.

A few weekends ago, Callie and I went to the zoo.  I learned quite a bit about what not to do when trying to get action shots of lions playing, but I think I got a few good ones.  I also played around with the shutter speeds with a water fountain.

Too Long since last time

I was just looking at this and realized it has been almost a year since I last posted anything.  Not that I haven't had anything to say, but I just fell into the trap of laziness and not really caring about updating.  However, onward and upward as they say.  I don't know who this "they" is but they say it.

In the past several months I've been fired, found and new job and am a month away from getting married.  Lots of big changes in my life.  Although honestly, the smallest of those changes is the getting married.  I've been living with this wonderful woman (shhh don't tell Callie, just kidding dear) who has been an angel in my life.  And since we have been living together for almost a year now, I don't see how being married will change the day to day living we do.  But I am looking forward to it.  For so many years I was convinced that I would never find someone who would marry me.  I was just resigned to the fact that some people don't get to be married.  I've never been more happy to be proven wrong.  As the day approaches I find myself getting more and more nervous about the actual event, then the "being married" part.  All the little details that are creeping up.  She has been wonderful in the planning and setting up of the wedding and reception.  I've given my opinion when I had one, and we have come to decisions together.  It's been a great metaphor for the years to come.

On the job front, I was fired from my job after seven years of....well productivity would be stretch, but I did meet and exceed all the company ever asked of me.  Not my fault they thought the job would take 8 hrs, when in reality it took about 2.  But I digress.  After being fired I had this enormous sense of the loss to my manhood.  I couldn't provide for my family.  We were fine financially, I got a nice severance, Callie still had her job.  Unemployment kicked in...we were able to pay all of our bills and still save some money.  However, I wasn't contributing.  I'm not one of those guys who has to make more money than his partner.  But I do feel the need to contribute.  So for quite awhile I was pretty depressed, but I just refused to let it drag me down the rabbit hole.  Eventually, I found a new job and in an area I am interested in.  So far so good, not a great job, but not horrible either.  The work itself is challenging and I enjoy trying to figure things out.

That's it sports fans..or fan.  Hopefully it won't be another 8 months before I post again.

Mothers

Odd that on Fathers Day I've been thinking about my mom.  But I have, so there.  She passed away a little over 9 years ago in a sudden way.  Nothing shocking, just collapsed walking to her car after work.  I don't think the doctors could find a definitive cause, so they just said "heart attack".  Doesn't matter, knowing what killed her, won't bring her back. 
She was one of the warmest, most caring people you would ever have met.  An angel on earth.  I know I'm a little biased, but I've heard other people call her that as well.  Most of my adult life I was upset that she was gone, but never really gave much thought to what I am missing without her.  I now have someone who I really wish she could have met and incorporated into her life.  My fiance, is very much like her in some respects.  She is caring, kind, has a quirky sense of humor and is deeply concerned about the welfare of others.  I very much wish Mom could have met her. 
I am getting a mother-in-law though.  In many ways she is similar to my mother as well.  She's a mom's mom.  You know the kind.  Bakes you cookies when you are feeling bad, goes out of her way to make you feel comfortable.  I like her quite a bit, but there is always a little something that makes me slightly standoffish to her.  I think it's because she DOES remind me of my mother.  I kind of feel that if I let her get to close, then it will tear open the scar that has healed over my heart.

A short post...it's almost midnight.  And I need to work tomorrow.  Good night.

Trying new things

In my quest in trying to find something that I am passionate about, I decided to take my sisters boyfriend, Zack,  up on his offer to teach me about welding.  I've always been fascinated with metal work.  I love shows like Monster Garage and American Chopper, well back when American Chopper was about building bikes and not family drama. 

My father is a pretty good handyman.  He has all sorts of power tools, but most of those are for wood working.  He's okay at it, can build something functional and it looks nice enough.  It won't win any awards for style, but it'll be solid and usefull.  Over the years I've helped him and think I have a decent understanding of how to build stuff with wood.  Again, nothing fancy, I'm not looking to build something that could be a piece of art, just a set of shelves.  But I've never really worked with metal. 

My future mother in law asked me last night why I loved metal working.  I couldn't come up with a really good answer and just replied "because it's cool."  While she stared at me blankly, I think most guys, and some women, would understand.  There is just something about taking a hunk of metal and turning it into something useful, beautiful, loud, or dangerous.  The same can be said of wood, but I just get more excited with metal.

So this takes me back to Zacks invitation.  He was installing some metal doors on his garage and asked me for help.  He said he would show me how to weld and we could hang the doors.  I was actually giddy that morning thinking about what I would learn.  So I threw the Fiance into the car and off we went.  I got her to come along under the pretense that my sister would take her with her to a kickboxing class.  Little did she know that it was taught by a uber militaristic neo nazi.  I think she would have hit me had she been able to lift her arms afterwards.  But I digress.

I learned that there are three major types of welding.  TIG, MIG, and ARC.  Tungsten Inert Gas, Metal Inert Gas, and... well ARC.  I'm not sure if that stands for anything or just the arc of the electricity, Zack didn't know either.  I also learned that the guys you see on these shows who do it for a living are REALLY REALLY good.  They make it look sooooo easy.  It seems the trick is getting the tungsten electrode close enough to the metal to make it hot without touching the metal.  Sound easy?  It isn't.  First of all, depth perception is pretty hard when you are wearing one of the masks, secondly it really is a fine line between too close and too far.  After a few tries with the TIG welder I felt this might be an skill I just didn't have in me.  I know, I know I gave up to easily.  But, then Zack suggested I try the ARC welder because it's a little easier, just not as neat.   So I gave it a go.  I was horrible at it....and loved every minute.  Sparks were flying everywhere, there were hissing and bubbling sounds as the metal heated up, it was freaking awesome.  I resisted the urge to whip off my mask and grunt like Tim Allen.  Again the trick is the distance between the rod thingy and the metal.  To far and you get no spark, to close and they stick together.  But towards the end there I got my "roll of quarters".  Which is how a weld is supposed to look.  This gave me new confidence to try the TIG welder again.  This time I bent my head more and got closer to the metal.  It was infinitely easier to see the metal pooling and where I needed to add the other metal stick thingy.  Yes I know these technical terms amaze you.  I still sucked at it, but I felt much better about my sucking and knew it was something I could improve on with practice.

In the end I successfully welded two pieces of scrap metal together and couldn't have been more pleased with myself.  I took the Slag Hammer, and knocked off the...well...slag.  After that I grabbed a steel brush and got all the gunk off of my scrap.  I was proud of my little piece of junk and decided it'll be a paper weight. 

In the end it looks like two pieces of metal stuck together with shiny glue of which I used way too much.  But I love it.  One might even say I've become passionate about it.

Growning up

I'm 37 years old and am finally starting to feel like an adult. I've been on my own and self-sufficent for some time now but I've always been a bit of a late bloomer. However, I'm starting to feel like l'm coming out of a cocoon and becoming a full fledged adult. This is something I never really thought much about. I never had a schedule for life. Never have I been the one to say at 25 I have a job making xyz and at 30 I'll be married with two kids. I've always kind of floated along, letting life take me down the river. Probably not the best approach for success, but I have never really cared all that much. As long as I had enough money to live on then I was fine.

However, now I'm starting to feel different. I feel like it's time to finally grow up, start taking better care of myself, my loved ones, and my life. I'm lucky because I have someone with me now to help me out. I can honestly say, that without her, I probably would still be floating down the river of mediocracy for the rest of my life. But now I want more. I want more out of my job, I don't want to just work for the paycheck, but enjoy what I do. I want to feel excited about going to work. A good friend of mine, Nacho, would rant and rave about how the world is all about wage slave jobs and only the uber rich have emotionally rewarding careers. Finding a good job that is rewarding in more than just a financial way is impossible. But I find fault with that. One thing he does say, that I completely agree with, is the line fed to us from grade school.  That if you get into college and get a degree the world will open up to you and riches will be laid at your feet. I call bullshit on that. If they had added, you need to work really hard, be very lucky and choose a degree that is relevant to whatever economic conditions exist when you graduate, then riches will be laid at your fee. Now it's if you get a Masters degree or an MBA then the world opens up to you...blah blah blah. Even the government is getting into this. You practically need a masters just to be a receiptionist now. Anyway, off my soap box, sorry about that. I still beleive a rewarding job can be found. However, I'm not sure how. And there, as the bard would say, in lies the rub.

So I will continue with my wage slave job but keep looking for better opportunities. I might have to go back to school, invest in myself a little bit. Possibly find a whole other career track for me. Which would be fine, since I don't get much pleasure from this one. My biggest concern is not knowing really what inspires me. What am I passionate about? I love football, but don't have the skill set to coach or anything. And I'm way to old to play. So what else am I passionate about? I honestly don't have any idea.

One thing I need to remember is I don't have to figure this out TODAY. As long as I'm trying to figure it out, then I'm on the right path. A year and half ago, I would have said, okay...I don't know what I'm passionate about, but I don't care that much so tra la la. But now I want more. So it's time to try new things. Find new adventures or activities that I can become passionate about. Then maybe, I can find a career that excites me.

I'm very fortunate that I have a wonderful person to help me figure these things out. Without her, life was, and would continue to have been very empty.

And so I continue to grow up.  Becoming an adult more and more each day.  I'm excited by the future and what it may hold.  And for the first time in my life, I'm happy to be called an "adult".

Home ownership?

It's that age old question, do you own your home or does your home own you?  Currently we are locked in a death grip with each other.  Neither one really having the advantage over the other.  The plumbing is currently the problem.  Right now, all the toilets have trouble flushing and the water pressure just isn't what it once was.  When I first bought the house, the water pressure was awesome, a shower felt like you were being sandblasted.  Now, it does the job but there is definetly a difference.  So what are my options I ask?  For the toilets one would think to replace the workings in the tank, but I've done that with no difference.  So I can only assume there is a blockage somewhere in the pipes.  I'm going to rent one of these roto rooters and see if I can fix the problem.  My bigger concern is the water pressure.  I've called a couple of plumbers and they all say I need to have my pressure regulator replaced.  Problem is, I've already done that and it didn't fix it.  When I explain that to the plumbers, their answer has been.."Well, I just don't know then."  Awesome.  The next step is to put in a call to the local water company and have them test the water pressure coming into the house.  I'm in that process now.  But as everyone knows dealing with a utility is about the same as dealing with the government.  It's going to be a slow process.

However, all in all, I love owning a home.  Especially now that I have someone to share it with.  Ever since The Fiance has moved in, my "honey-do list" has grown exponentially.  In all honesty, it was stuff that I knew needed to get done or I wanted to get done, but I didn't have someone to nudge me along and actually do them.  But back to home ownership.  I'm lucky in that I bought it cheap enough where the current housing market hasn't made me upside down.  And I think I bought a pretty good home.  I've lived here for 8 1/2 years and haven't had to dump too much money into it.  A new furnace and a/c unit, new roof, and new hot water heater.  But over a almost 9 year time span really that's not so bad.  I have friends who have had to replace all those things and more, a couple of times with their newer homes.

I find joy in doing the little chores around the house. Hanging up curtains, planting flowers, powerwashing the siding and deck.  I enjoy having people come over for cook outs and such.  Yes, I could still entertain if I rented, but there is something satisfiying about someone saying they like your house.

I've found I'm taking more pride in the outside of my house now as well.  It used to be all about setting up the ultimate "man cave" but now it's about owning a home.  Some place that feels warm and welcoming when you walk inside.  I used to think of my home as a good long term fiancial investment.  Now I think of it as a place to build memories and a good life in.

So I pose the question to myself again.  Home ownership?  Yes, I own my home!  It's our place to grow together in, to laugh, cry, yell, and love each other in.  Now, if I could just get the plumbing fixed.