Growning up

I'm 37 years old and am finally starting to feel like an adult. I've been on my own and self-sufficent for some time now but I've always been a bit of a late bloomer. However, I'm starting to feel like l'm coming out of a cocoon and becoming a full fledged adult. This is something I never really thought much about. I never had a schedule for life. Never have I been the one to say at 25 I have a job making xyz and at 30 I'll be married with two kids. I've always kind of floated along, letting life take me down the river. Probably not the best approach for success, but I have never really cared all that much. As long as I had enough money to live on then I was fine.

However, now I'm starting to feel different. I feel like it's time to finally grow up, start taking better care of myself, my loved ones, and my life. I'm lucky because I have someone with me now to help me out. I can honestly say, that without her, I probably would still be floating down the river of mediocracy for the rest of my life. But now I want more. I want more out of my job, I don't want to just work for the paycheck, but enjoy what I do. I want to feel excited about going to work. A good friend of mine, Nacho, would rant and rave about how the world is all about wage slave jobs and only the uber rich have emotionally rewarding careers. Finding a good job that is rewarding in more than just a financial way is impossible. But I find fault with that. One thing he does say, that I completely agree with, is the line fed to us from grade school.  That if you get into college and get a degree the world will open up to you and riches will be laid at your feet. I call bullshit on that. If they had added, you need to work really hard, be very lucky and choose a degree that is relevant to whatever economic conditions exist when you graduate, then riches will be laid at your fee. Now it's if you get a Masters degree or an MBA then the world opens up to you...blah blah blah. Even the government is getting into this. You practically need a masters just to be a receiptionist now. Anyway, off my soap box, sorry about that. I still beleive a rewarding job can be found. However, I'm not sure how. And there, as the bard would say, in lies the rub.

So I will continue with my wage slave job but keep looking for better opportunities. I might have to go back to school, invest in myself a little bit. Possibly find a whole other career track for me. Which would be fine, since I don't get much pleasure from this one. My biggest concern is not knowing really what inspires me. What am I passionate about? I love football, but don't have the skill set to coach or anything. And I'm way to old to play. So what else am I passionate about? I honestly don't have any idea.

One thing I need to remember is I don't have to figure this out TODAY. As long as I'm trying to figure it out, then I'm on the right path. A year and half ago, I would have said, okay...I don't know what I'm passionate about, but I don't care that much so tra la la. But now I want more. So it's time to try new things. Find new adventures or activities that I can become passionate about. Then maybe, I can find a career that excites me.

I'm very fortunate that I have a wonderful person to help me figure these things out. Without her, life was, and would continue to have been very empty.

And so I continue to grow up.  Becoming an adult more and more each day.  I'm excited by the future and what it may hold.  And for the first time in my life, I'm happy to be called an "adult".