Growning up

I'm 37 years old and am finally starting to feel like an adult. I've been on my own and self-sufficent for some time now but I've always been a bit of a late bloomer. However, I'm starting to feel like l'm coming out of a cocoon and becoming a full fledged adult. This is something I never really thought much about. I never had a schedule for life. Never have I been the one to say at 25 I have a job making xyz and at 30 I'll be married with two kids. I've always kind of floated along, letting life take me down the river. Probably not the best approach for success, but I have never really cared all that much. As long as I had enough money to live on then I was fine.

However, now I'm starting to feel different. I feel like it's time to finally grow up, start taking better care of myself, my loved ones, and my life. I'm lucky because I have someone with me now to help me out. I can honestly say, that without her, I probably would still be floating down the river of mediocracy for the rest of my life. But now I want more. I want more out of my job, I don't want to just work for the paycheck, but enjoy what I do. I want to feel excited about going to work. A good friend of mine, Nacho, would rant and rave about how the world is all about wage slave jobs and only the uber rich have emotionally rewarding careers. Finding a good job that is rewarding in more than just a financial way is impossible. But I find fault with that. One thing he does say, that I completely agree with, is the line fed to us from grade school.  That if you get into college and get a degree the world will open up to you and riches will be laid at your feet. I call bullshit on that. If they had added, you need to work really hard, be very lucky and choose a degree that is relevant to whatever economic conditions exist when you graduate, then riches will be laid at your fee. Now it's if you get a Masters degree or an MBA then the world opens up to you...blah blah blah. Even the government is getting into this. You practically need a masters just to be a receiptionist now. Anyway, off my soap box, sorry about that. I still beleive a rewarding job can be found. However, I'm not sure how. And there, as the bard would say, in lies the rub.

So I will continue with my wage slave job but keep looking for better opportunities. I might have to go back to school, invest in myself a little bit. Possibly find a whole other career track for me. Which would be fine, since I don't get much pleasure from this one. My biggest concern is not knowing really what inspires me. What am I passionate about? I love football, but don't have the skill set to coach or anything. And I'm way to old to play. So what else am I passionate about? I honestly don't have any idea.

One thing I need to remember is I don't have to figure this out TODAY. As long as I'm trying to figure it out, then I'm on the right path. A year and half ago, I would have said, okay...I don't know what I'm passionate about, but I don't care that much so tra la la. But now I want more. So it's time to try new things. Find new adventures or activities that I can become passionate about. Then maybe, I can find a career that excites me.

I'm very fortunate that I have a wonderful person to help me figure these things out. Without her, life was, and would continue to have been very empty.

And so I continue to grow up.  Becoming an adult more and more each day.  I'm excited by the future and what it may hold.  And for the first time in my life, I'm happy to be called an "adult".

Home ownership?

It's that age old question, do you own your home or does your home own you?  Currently we are locked in a death grip with each other.  Neither one really having the advantage over the other.  The plumbing is currently the problem.  Right now, all the toilets have trouble flushing and the water pressure just isn't what it once was.  When I first bought the house, the water pressure was awesome, a shower felt like you were being sandblasted.  Now, it does the job but there is definetly a difference.  So what are my options I ask?  For the toilets one would think to replace the workings in the tank, but I've done that with no difference.  So I can only assume there is a blockage somewhere in the pipes.  I'm going to rent one of these roto rooters and see if I can fix the problem.  My bigger concern is the water pressure.  I've called a couple of plumbers and they all say I need to have my pressure regulator replaced.  Problem is, I've already done that and it didn't fix it.  When I explain that to the plumbers, their answer has been.."Well, I just don't know then."  Awesome.  The next step is to put in a call to the local water company and have them test the water pressure coming into the house.  I'm in that process now.  But as everyone knows dealing with a utility is about the same as dealing with the government.  It's going to be a slow process.

However, all in all, I love owning a home.  Especially now that I have someone to share it with.  Ever since The Fiance has moved in, my "honey-do list" has grown exponentially.  In all honesty, it was stuff that I knew needed to get done or I wanted to get done, but I didn't have someone to nudge me along and actually do them.  But back to home ownership.  I'm lucky in that I bought it cheap enough where the current housing market hasn't made me upside down.  And I think I bought a pretty good home.  I've lived here for 8 1/2 years and haven't had to dump too much money into it.  A new furnace and a/c unit, new roof, and new hot water heater.  But over a almost 9 year time span really that's not so bad.  I have friends who have had to replace all those things and more, a couple of times with their newer homes.

I find joy in doing the little chores around the house. Hanging up curtains, planting flowers, powerwashing the siding and deck.  I enjoy having people come over for cook outs and such.  Yes, I could still entertain if I rented, but there is something satisfiying about someone saying they like your house.

I've found I'm taking more pride in the outside of my house now as well.  It used to be all about setting up the ultimate "man cave" but now it's about owning a home.  Some place that feels warm and welcoming when you walk inside.  I used to think of my home as a good long term fiancial investment.  Now I think of it as a place to build memories and a good life in.

So I pose the question to myself again.  Home ownership?  Yes, I own my home!  It's our place to grow together in, to laugh, cry, yell, and love each other in.  Now, if I could just get the plumbing fixed.

The Great Move of 2010

The house is in chaos, but all for the good.  Boxes, furniture, pictures, dishes, cookware, and cats everywhere.  But The Fiance is moved in and now the unpacking begins.  We actually accomplished quite a bit this weekend.  We've unpacked the kitchen and most of the bedroom.  Still a few things left in the living room, basement, and most of the spare bedroom.  I'm hoping we will have it all done by this weekend. 

But this brings out the bigger question doesn't it?  How do I feel about having someone share my life with me.  Honestly?  I love it, and am scared by it at the same time.  Does that make sense?  I'm excited about all the different things we are going to do together.  I'm excited about how we will grow.  I'm scared because this is something I've never done before and it's the GREAT UNKNOWN. 

In the end I know this is a good thing, a great thing.  I love this woman more than I ever thought I could.  I've broken down and cried for no other reason than the realization of joy this woman brings me.  And for the two readers of this blog that don't know who I'm talking about, no I'm not putting her on a pedastal.  She has flaws, as we all do.  No one is perfect, but in a way she is perfect for me.

'Tis the season....to golf!

It's an absolutely beautiful day today and this weather is supposed to continue throughout the weekend and into next week. This kind of weather gets me all excited for golf. For me, golf is the ultimate individual sport. Getting your mind and body perfectly in tune with on another in an effort to hit a small metal head into a smaller ball at just the right angle to make the ball go exactly where you want it. That is the ultimate in mind/body coordination. I am in awe of the pros who can go out there, week in and week out, and consistently hit good golf shots. Where I may hit a good shot once out of every 20 or thirty attempts, they have a bad shot once out of every 1000. Just to clarify, what I consider a bad shot is not what the pros consider a bad shot. To me a bad shot is when you might hit a house, to them it's when it's 20 yards away from where they wanted to put it. But I digress. Golf season is upon us and I'm looking forward to it.

I'm trying to get The Fiance into golf. We played a little last year, up at the course my father's house is on. Mainly she just putted when we got the green, but she seemed to have a good time. She is even willing to take some lessons. News that made her father (an avid golfer) nearly leap up from his chair and kiss me. I'm hoping that after she moves in permanently, we can take some lessons together at the driving range.

My "home" course is The Woods up in West Virginia. Not too far from my house, about an hour and a half away. It's cheap to play there, compared to my area, and it's usually not nearly as crowded as here. Admittedly, it's not the greatest course, there are certainly better. But it's nice, and at this point, I know it pretty well.

I usually can shoot in the high 90's, sometimes better if I've used the "foot wedge" a few times. But I'm pretty consistently in the high 90's. My goal this year is to break 85 at least twice....honestly. Since I've been working on more of my core and stability muscles I'm anxious to see how that translates to my golf swing. Will I generate more club head speed? If so do I need to worry about the houses across the road? So I'm excited to get out and try. I think my first opportunity will be the second weekend in May, could be sooner but I doubt it. Until then I'll be content with going to the driving range and watching Phil, Ernie, Sergio, and Tiger with his big club (yes the double entendre was intended) walk around Georgia.

Cigars

I love a good cigar. My smoke of choice is Arturo Fuente cigars. I prefer a milder taste and a good burning cigar. One that I don't need to relight every five seconds. I've found these are the best for my individual preferences. I'm no cigar expert, never claimed to be. It's kind of like art, I may not know it, but I know what I like.

One of the things I love about cigars is smoking them with friends. My good friend and I have been smoking cigars on each others porches for almost ten years now. We don't smoke many, maybe about six or seven during the "season". Which for us is anytime we can smoke outside but mainly the warmer months. We mainly just sit there, catch up on each others lives and enjoy the company of an old dear friendship.

I occasionally will smoke when I play a round of golf. I've seen a lot of golfers smoke cigars while golfing. I won't say it improves my game, those would have to be some really special cigars, but I do enjoy puffing on a stogie while waiting to tee off or putt out.

So tonight my friend and I sat on my deck and enjoyed the cool night air while puffing on a couple of cigars. A couple of years ago he went through some of the same life changes that are coming up for me, getting married, living with someone who isn't just a roommate, etc. It was good to get another persons perspective. I felt a lot better after talking to him.

I will have to make this blog a little shorter than some because apparently tonight is the night Harley has decided to try a new gymnastics routine on my bed. So goodnight interwebs...sleep well.

Working out...losing weight

Well that's the goal anyway. I have been working out, and working out hard for the past three years. In those three years I've lost probably about 100lbs of fat and gained about 20lbs of muscle. I have just over a year before we are married and I'm needing to shed a few pounds. If I'm honest with myself I need to shed more than just a few. So as a way to motivate myself I'm going to try and keep a blog about losing weight and working out.

I've thought long and hard and decided the best approach for me is a basic one. No Weight Watchers, no Atkins, no South Beach, just need to keep the calorie intake to 2500 a day or less and continue to exercise. So I'm going with a two pronged attack. First will be to keep better track of my exercising. I need to be better at keeping track of my sets and the amount I lift. The second is to stick to counting the calories for the day.

As to the first, I'm pretty satisfied at where my cardio is. My resting heart rate used to be in the 80's and now I'm down into the high 50's or low 60's. My need is for more upper body strength and working on my core supportive muscles. The Fiance gave me 6 training sessions at my gym and I have used them to build a good new workout regime. It has me maintaining or slightly improving my leg muscles, and focusing in on triceps, biceps, chest, back, shoulder and abs. I also am working on new cardio things such as jump roping. I will lay out what I lift after the gym today and then try to keep updating in this blog to see how much (or little) I've improved.

The second will be forcing myself to blog daily about he caloric intake I have. I'm hoping this will keep me on the straight and narrow. Of course I'm saying this while munching on a handful of jelly beans so there's that. But it's baby steps.

So that's the goal, to look good in a tux by next April. As I sit here and type this out, I'm also realizing that I have one large hurdle to overcome. The switch hasn't flicked. What I mean by that is when anyone who has needed to overcome a large change in their lives has a moment of clarity when they realize something must be done. Alcoholics and drug users call it hitting rock bottom. I call it hitting Rocky Road, preferably Ben and Jerry's. It has happened for me a few times when I have lost larger amounts of weight. My hope is in writing this blog and trying to keep up with it, I'll flick the switch.

Working for the weekend

This week has had some ups and downs. I still haven't heard any official word on the job I interviewed for, all I've gotten is an email saying they haven't finished interviewing people. Better than a "no" I suppose. My boss got fired, because he was in a job that was WAY over his head and should have been let go several months ago. He's not a bad guy, and I wish him well, but man he just didn't have the skill set for that job. I feel a little bit like a boxer here. Just gotta keep ducking and weaving, haven't laid me off yet. I'm chained to my desk at work and while it's not boring every single minute, there are times when I just can't play another game of Bejewled Blitz.

It's been within the past year that I've started looking forward to my weekend plans. When I was single, my weekends consisted of going to the gym for an hour or so and then watching TV or playing video games for the rest of the day. Sad...I know. I did a few other things too, but not many. Then I met the Fiance, to be clear she wasn't the Fiance when I first met her, that would be silly. But when I did meet her my weekends started filling up quickly.

Now that spring has sprung and the weather is getting nicer, people are venturing out of hibernation and going to Home Depot. As are we this weekend. Saturday will consist of getting up and having a good hardy breakfast then picking up the truck from Dad's house and heading to Home Depot. We are finally going to tear out all the stupid ground ivy that covers my "front yard". I put it in quotes because it's about a 12x12 patch of dirt that gets no sun, so I couldn't grow grass even if I wanted to.

This ivy has been the bane of my existence since I first bought my place. I don't get poison ivy or poison oak easily so when I say this stuff is evil please understand where I'm coming from. I don't know what this stuff is called but it's the spawn of Satan himself. Never stops growing and if I look at it wrong I break out. But I digress, we will cover the area with mulch, landscaping tarp, flowers and weed killer. Probably not in that order. But not before we head to yoga. Then in the evening we are having a "date night" of movie and dinner. So Saturday will be quite booked. Oh and I forgot to mention, we need to go over to her parents house and pick up some patio furniture sometime during the day as well. Which wouldn't be so bad except it's about 45 minute drive each way to get there.

So that leaves Sunday, the day of rest. Heh...while she is working on bettering herself by getting a national certificate for her job, I will be recaulking the shower, making a run to the dump, and cleaning out storage spaces and closets so we can move the rest of her stuff down in a couple of weeks.

I love my new weekends. Mainly, because I have found someone to share my life with. But there are times when I still yearn to spend an entire Saturday sitting with my friend and marathoning Stargate SG-1.....just not many.